Are You Being Controlled by a Narcissist?

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Do you have a narcissist in your life who is controlling you?

Someone manipulating your actions and choices to fit their needs with no regard for yours?

You may not realize it, but this person may be affecting your mind in some long-lasting ways.

A narcissist can be very dangerous to your health, self-esteem, and mental health.

A narcissist doesn’t care about more than himself or herself, so controlling you is just part of the game.

Don’t fall for it any longer.

Hear are the facts:

1. So what is mind control? Well the basic definition of mind control is brainwashing and persuasion that is done to take over a person’s mind.

Mind control involves manipulative tactics that help the person affect your brain and behavior.

It can take different forms, but narcissists are skilled at using this technique to manage you. It’s almost like an artform to them.

The truth is, narcissists don’t care about your opinion or wants, possibly even needs, unless they line up with how they want you to behave.

They don’t want you to be you; they want you to be their you.

So they’ll manipulate and control you to put you exactly where they need you to be.

A big part of mind control is coercive persuasion. This is when they use different techniques to manipulate someone to do their bidding. The persuasion puts the victim under extreme stress and anxiety.

2. The control comes from subtly. Narcissists know to how to use subtle control, so you don’t even realize you’re doing what they want.

Narcissists use trigger phrases to control you. Some common phrases include clear disappointment and statements about their feelings. They may remind you of how you’re supposed to behave and think.

A good example of this is the phrase, “I just thought you…”. Or something along those lines.

Say you wanted to go out with some friends of yours. That’s a perfectly reasonable, natural thing to do, just as a human being!

Now let’s so you know for a fact you don’t have plans with the narcissist. Let’s even go as far as to say you’ve been spending a lot of time with them.

When you tell them, you may get “Oh, I thought you loved me more than your friends…”

You never said you didn’t love them.

You didn’t even say you prefer spending time with your friends.

But suddenly, you are insensitive for doing something completely in your rights, not just as a partner, but as a human.

3. Signs of a narcissist’s mind control. Some narcissists are good at hiding their real nature, it’s their main tactic whether they know it or not.

To a narcissist, the goal isn’t to show your true nature, it’s to show a nature they know gets them what they want.

That said, no one’s perfect. There are signs to spot that can help you see past the facade.

Beware of these signs:

  • A narcissist who is using mind control doesn’t care about your feelings or pain.

    If there are ever times that the person you’re dating knows MORE than well they’re doing something you’d never do to them, that’s a massive red flag.

    A narcissist may claim they care about you, and they may even believe that themselves.

    But remember, nothing matters to them more than them.

    If your feelings get in the way of something for them, your feelings do not matter as much anymore, if at all.

    They may tell you otherwise, but do your best to remember all the times they did things to you you’d never CONSIDER doing to them.
  • A narcissist will use a variety of emotional and other manipulative techniques to get you to do or think a certain way.

    A narcissist is an expert at emotional manipulation.

    It’s why, many times, it feels like they’re the only one that understands you.

    They’ve mastered reading emotion, and subsequently, how to use it.

    They know what emotion results in a certain subsequent response.

    They’re likely very good at exercising any of those emotions that gives them whatever they need.

    So think of it like this: Just because they’re good at showing emotion, that doesn’t mean they’re really opening up and showing you who they are.
  • A narcissist may use flattery and love to affect you. This will be used in turn with aggression and anger to control you. The victim is also isolated from others, so the narcissist can manage him or her easier.

    Flattery is a very useful way to show true affection to someone you value.

    It also costs you nothing. Making it a perfect tool for a narcissist to maneuver you with.

    Remember, a narcissist cares about themselves above everything else. So they’ll use flattery to get exactly where they want you to be, without sacrificing anything themselves.

    And yes; a narcissist will HAPPILY create rifts in other relationships, whether it be with family or friends, to better isolate, and therefore control you.
  • The narcissist will try to create chaos and uncertainty, so the victim doesn’t know what to expect and lives in constant fear. This also gives the narcissist more control because they get to decide how things are handled. The victim is left so scared and confused that they can’t even escape.

    It’s a strange tactic, but it works.

    Think of it like this, if you’re in the midst of complete and utter chaos, what’s your first instinct?

    To cling to what makes you feel like you can get out of it.

    If someone has masterfully orchestrated that very same chaos, of course it’s gonna feel like that person is exactly what you need at that moment.

    Maybe even the only thing you need.

    And before you know it, you’re in the palm of their hand.
  • Gaslighting and shifting blame are common techniques used by a narcissist.

    To a narcissist, rarely, if EVER, is anything their fault.

    Did they do something wrong? Well clearly you must’ve phrased something wrong.

    They forgot something important? Well they were busy with more important things, they can’t help that.

    You want to talk to them about their emotional abuse? That’s a really painful subject for them, they need you not to bring that up, thank you.

    It’s never their fault, nothing is their responsibility to them.

    It’s a nauseating and annoying process, and it makes you feel entirely hopeless, even insane.

4. How to escape mind control. It’s usually not easy to get away from the mind control of a narcissist. 

  • In some cases, the victims need outside intervention and help to get away. You may need to seek help from a trusted family member, friend, or therapist to figure out how to escape. Support is essential.
  • Avoiding the narcissist physically may not be enough to escape his or her control. Any type of communication, such as phone conversations or even texts, can place you back under their thumb.
  • It’s important to remember that it will take time to recover and heal. Your self-esteem and confidence can be shattered. Your ability to make decisions on your own can be affected. Your identity practically disappears under the narcissist’s control and desires.
  • In some cases, once a person escapes one narcissist, they find another one. This sad pattern can repeat, so it’s crucial not to fall into it.

Narcissism is a painful, excruciating thing to escape from. It may even feel impossible.

They’ve literally crafted your world to revolve around them. Without them, what do you possibly have left?

You have you. Your life. Your feelings, thoughts, emotion, you are your own person just as much as they are there’s. And odds are high that yours is much more gratifying to be a part of than some self-wallowing and shallow narcissist.

The mind control that a narcissist can perform may astound you. They’re capable of convincing you of anything and making you doubt your own memory. They’re able to get inside your head with a simple phrase. Take care of yourself by learning how to deal effectively with a narcissist.